“Do something uncomfortable today. By stepping outside of your box, you don’t have to settle for what you are. You get to create what you want to become.”
This was a quote I posted on Facebook on the day I left my 9-5 corporate job in 2016.
I had no idea wtf I was doing when I walked out of those doors for the last time to start my online business. It was scary, and it was uncertain, but I knew I owed it to myself to step outside of my box and try.
It would have been a lot easier to just stay, and continue doing what I was doing, that’s for sure!
But no risk, no reward, right?
Whether you are making a career change, a relationship change, or a nutrition or fitness change, it’s actually EASIER to stay the same. This is why so many people settle, even when they are unhappy with their current circumstances. The brain doesn’t like change because it’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. Any time there is a level of uncertainty involved, you may feel like you aren’t in full control of your own circumstances. Changing comes with a LOT of unknowns, self-doubt, and days where you wonder what the heck is happening!
But change also can bring some pretty big rewards, if you’re willing to stop playing it so safe and start believing in yourself that things WILL work out.
This is self trust, which I think is essential for stepping into your most successful self!
I like to define self trust as the faith or confidence you put *in yourself* to show up in your life, let the chips fall wherever they may, and be able to handle whatever transpires as a result.
Feeling out of control around food if it’s not perfectly planned?
Nervous to have a hard conversation because you aren’t sure how the other person is going to react?
Looking to make a change to your nutrition, but feeling hesitant because you aren’t sure how it will affect your social life?
Dealing with an injury, and you have to adapt your workout plan?
Want to quit your job, but you fear what the outcome will be?
Self trust is your answer, always! So how do you build self trust, which therefore boosts your confidence?
1. Dip your toe.
Start deliberately exposing yourself juuuuust a little bit, to the things that are out of your comfort zone or that feel a little uncertain. For example, maybe you are nervous to get into the weight room for fear of looking silly. You can “dip your toe” by going in and trying one machine + realizing you can handle it! Now you’re a little more competent, which in turn boosts your confidence. Maybe next week you try 2 more. Another example: purposely bring a “trigger food” into your house + practice eating just a little bit. If you eat too much, okay, no big deal, you try again. And again. Until you’ve realized you actually CAN trust yourself around that bag of chips or box of Oreos.
2. Consider your past wins.
When you are going down the rabbit hole of ruminating about uncertain outcomes, think about how you’ve handled similar or difficult situations in the past. What did you do? How did you do it? Did you survive? Pull out ALL your evidence that you actually can figure shit out!
3. Show up unapologetically.
Stop apologizing for every single thing, stop minimizing or downplaying compliments or accomplishments (say thank you!), don’t sugarcoat. How many times do you use the word “just” or “only” in your day to day? How often do you feel like you have to provide an explanation for saying no to something? Show up as your honest, authentic self. This might look like engaging in hard conversations and saying something that needs to be said, it might be holding a boundary (you can set boundaries, but if you don’t hold people to them, your boundaries mean nothing), or it could be making a decision opposite from what everyone else is doing because it feels better for YOU.
4. Stop asking everyone else for their opinion.
Make a decision for yourself, without the need to ask or consult everyone in your life on it. Start taking your OWN advice and going with your gut instead of second guessing all the time. The more you do this, the less you’ll blame others if things don’t go well, and you start learning how to own your decisions. If there’s fallout, you handle it! Sure, perhaps you consult with a trusted friend or a coach or mentor, but I think needing to ask 1000 people their opinion really can kill your self trust fast.
5. Stay true to your word.
There is nothing that kills self trust faster than self abandoning or neglecting yourself. If you commit to something, DO IT. Follow through. This doesn’t mean hold yourself to perfection, but the more you show yourself you CAN drink that glass of water in the morning, or hit 4 workouts a week, or stop scrolling before bed, or not make a food decision just because you’re stressed or everyone else is doing it… the more you will continue to do it! Think about it: you don’t like it when others don’t stay true to their word, right? If your partner says they will do X, or your friend says she will do Y, you want them to follow through, right? Respect yourself enough to hold yourself to the same standard!!
You might not know what’s going to happen. But you can trust yourself to handle whatever the fallout may be, for both smaller scale situations and bigger tougher stuff too! Self trust gives you a sense of certainty, even in uncertain circumstances, to try something new. To get uncomfortable. And to step outside your box.
It’s better than settling for the status quo.
Readers, let’s chat! Which of these points, 1-5, resonated the most with you? What might you try doing to start building some more self trust? When is a time in the past that you’ve navigated an unknown outcome? How did you handle it?
If you could use a fresh and more empowering approach to making changes in your wellness and life, you are in the right place! Through my Best Self Coaching mentorship, my Empowered Together Coaching Club membership, and the other offerings in my coaching practice, I help women get out of their comfort zones, both in and out of the gym, and continue to show up for themselves imperfectly and unapologetically, in a way that feels aligned and authentic, through all the changing seasons and phases of life. I believe that when we take care of our bodies by moving with intention, eating for both fuel AND enjoyment, and engaging in meaningful self care, we are able to THRIVE in our personal and professional lives too, which means we don’t have to settle for the status quo!
If you are interested in a lifestyle transformation that is fun and gets you the results you want, book a free 30-minute connection call. I’d love to discuss your goals with you!!