Usually when it comes to thinking of new blog content, I list out different topics I want to write about in any given week. This “list” includes an ongoing section of recipes that I want to make sure I don’t forget about. Same with workouts. Sometimes the list includes things I want to make sure I mention by a certain date, and I always have ideas floating around for future posts that don’t necessarily have any kind of “timeline” on them.
However, I’ve noticed that one topic I added to my list… at the beginning of the year… to write about at the beginning of the year… is still on the list. And I keep asking myself, WHY haven’t I written about what my goals are for 2013 yet?
I am notorious for being a New Year’s sucker. Over-committing to a ridiculous amounts of goals. Making an enormous bucket list that starts out as something fun, but turns into self-ridicule for never crossing out everything on it. I mean, look at my 2012 New Year’s goals post… it’s full of goals galore! And that was great… for 2012. At that point in my life, I was in SUCH a career/life rut that I needed to set those goals for myself to feel motivated at changing my situation. And I accomplished a lot, don’t get me wrong. A whole lot. I’m proud of myself for doing everything I did, and I know that starting the year with intention had a lot to do with my successes.
So why haven’t I felt as motivated to set goals for 2013?
While I do have things I want to do this year (grow the wellness program at work, finalize my plans for the Wellcoaches certification, run another 5k, get out of my comfort zone, focus on one thing at a time, grow my name and this blog), I honestly just feel tired. And while I can certainly still have all these intentions in the back of my mind, I think feeling this way is pretty telling about what my real focus should be this year.
If you are someone like me, the only speed you know is “go.” I’m always running from one job to the other, only to come home and tackle all the things on my to do lists (yes, lists) that “have to get done.” My “me time” is cleaning or blogging. I never just stop. And if I do, I can’t stop for more than a few minutes without getting up to organize something that “should” get organized. If I take a vacation day just because, I run a billion errands instead of just sit around the house with a cup of coffee and a good book. Now that I think about it, I can’t even tell you the last time I read a good book!
Am I on this never-ending hunt for the perfect balance between everything I do? I love everything I do, but I’m always looking for new ways to keep up with both jobs while maintaining a healthy diet, getting the right amount of exercise, having enough downtime to spend with friends/family, and so on. Maybe if I just stop worrying about trying to do everything so perfectly all the time, balance might come a little more naturally. Maybe I’ll get more sleep and feel less overwhelmed. I mean, here I am trying to motivate all of you day in and day out to live a healthy lifestyle, but how healthy can I really be when I feel stressed so often?
It’s obvious that slowing down is the answer to my issues. Maybe then I’ll find stability, which I think is the answer to finding real balance. Doing things perfectly and productively 100% of the time is unattainable and unreasonable. It leaves me feeling like I can barely keep my head above water, and it’s just not healthy. I don’t HAVE to get through every email every day, or fold every bit of laundry the second it comes out of the dryer. That’s not what is going to matter down the line. What will matter in five years are all the little things. Whether that be a little extra sleep, an extra glass of wine, an extra hug, or maybe just that hour spent laughing over nothing.
Slowing down doesn’t come easily to me, but someone recently suggested comparing this to exercising. As you all know, I’m very self-driven in ensuring I get to the gym and exercise enough. I know that to keep my body looking how it does and at its healthiest, I need to put in the work and concentration and time. But the same goes for mental health too. In order to keep my MIND at its healthiest, I need to put in the same work and concentration and time. Most of my goals for this round of Best Body Bootcamp have revolved around this. I’m learning to delegate. I’m learning to say no. But I have a long way to go. And that’s why this year, in 2013, I have resolved to take a step (or a few) back and commit to simply finding balance.
Does anyone else struggle with finding balance in their lives? I would love to hear your stories. Please share any advice or tips you have in the comments!
It helps if you never actually fold the laundry.
I was thinking about this somewhat yesterday as I was thinking about how I haven’t been getting in my “five work outs a week” that I’ve been striving for since starting BBB. I realized that it hasn’t been because of lack of motivation or getting lazy, which is what I was afraid of. I realized it’s because I’ve had an unusually unlucky and busy month. Between Bret getting really sick, snow storms, having new responsibilities at work, and my mom having some health issues, I’ve had to skip some scheduled workouts. What I’ve been trying to focus on is what I HAVE been able to do despite these events. Planning a wedding in 6 months, sticking with my goal of eating more vegetables, and still working out 4 days a week…I think I’m doing pretty well in the grand scheme of things and I will be back to 5 workouts a week in no time!
One of the best pieces of advice I received was to stop using the word ‘should’. It seems to come with this implication that if something isn’t completed there is a consequence. When I catch myself saying it, I try to change to I need/want/would like to do that task/activity. While it may be a minor change, it helps me not beat myself up if I don’t fold the laundry or make a phone call that really can wait one more day.
I couldn’t agree more with this post. Literally, it’s like I wrote it when looking at my life. Sundays have turned into stressful days because I cram so much in… I find myself feeling overwhelmed because I HAVE to grocery shop, meal plan, cook, do laundry, clean the apartment, run errands, blog, etc. I actually broke out into a sweat this past Sunday when i was getting overwhelmed trying to set up a Burpees to Bubbly FB page, instagram account, email account, etc. And then I had 2 meals I wanted to make, and salads to prep for the week, and changing the sheets on my bed. Phew. It gets SO tiring, but then once I accomplish everything, I feel GREAT, but is it worth the stress getting to that point? I, too, operate with one speed and it’s fast- everything I do. I need to slow down, BREATH, relax and realize that it’s OK to sit on the couch and read or watch tv for an hour. Anyway. sorry for the long response, but I literally found myself agreeing to every little piece of this post. Are we twins?! hahaha
I think a lot of women feel this way. We have to do everything, take care of everybody and be perfect all at the same time. We need to give ourselves a break! I try to keep in mind that we can accomplish a lot in our lives but it doesn’t have to be all at the same time. I have learned to let keeping the perfect household go and just try to keep up. My mother taught me to break down household chores into steps and accomplish it over several days or weeks. It gets done! I have even cut back on keeping lists as I was becoming a slave to my lists. Of course there is work, errands, shopping, laundry and cooking. But the first thing on the schedule is GYM TIME!! And every day there is a TV show, reading, some peaceful time to take a walk or just be alone. Thanks for a great post Athena and a healthy way to live a balanced life. Keep it simple and enjoy what matters the most.
I agree with this post completely. It also made me realize this is probably why I am so run down and sick these past two months. Trying to keep up with working out, social life, house projects and the rest. It kills me to just sit down and watch TV when I have a to-do list. I am glad I am not the only one! But also this makes me realize sitting down and watching a movie with the bf or reading a good book is good once in a while! Thanks for this post!