Did you guys know that before Fitness & Feta I had another blog?  Betcha didn’t!  I started my old blog intending to write about all the awkward moments in my life, but it kind of fizzled out.  It just didn’t have the clear focus and vision as F&F does.

Or maybe I’m not as awkward as I think!?

Nah, not possible.

Anyways, the other night I was reading through some of my old entries, and some of them really are too good, too funny, and too awkward not to share here.  If I do say so myself.  I will be bringing some of them forward to Fitness & Feta over the next couple of months.

Although I wrote this particular story back in 2010 and the actual event happened in 2006, I think you’ll enjoy it.  I now bring you the most awkward story you will ever hear about drive through ATMs.

The Time I Got Stuck in a Drive Through ATM

Let’s rewind four years.  It was October of 2006.  Senior year of college, fall semester.  This was definitely a weird time for me, but that’s a whole different story.  On this particular day, my home friends called at the last minute telling me that I should go down to UConn for the night because Matt was having a huge “Cowboy and Indian” party at his off campus apartment.  I already had dinner plans with some PCDC girls, but no big deal, I would just do both.

What I think is important to note before continuing:  My emotional state.  Fighting with my boyfriend.  Unsure of our status.  It was pretty much a couple of weeks before we actually did break up for good.  I got in a phone argument that day and was running late for both events the night had in store.  The takeaway from this paragraph:  I was crying/upset as I left my house to go to the ATM after I realized I had no cash for the night.

Aka, my pathetic attempt at an excuse for what happens next.

Where I lived on Tyndall Street in Providence allowed you to get to the Sovereign Bank one of two ways:

  • Option 1 took you right to the parking lot opening where taking a left would bring you directly into the drive through lane (drive up ATM on the driver side). 
  • Option 2 took you around the bank where you would need to pull into the parking lot from the other side.  If pulling in this way, to get to the drive through ATM all you had to do was pull back out to the street, loop around, and boom you’d be back at Option 1.  Again, this would bring you directly into the drive through lane with the drive up ATM on the driver side, it would just take a little longer to do.

Normally I would opt for the former; however in my emotional state I wasn’t thinking and chose the latter.

Now, you are probably thinking, no big deal right?  Any normal human being would loop around the street and pull in, no problem.  NOT ME.  This particular bank also had some drive through teller lanes running parallel to the drive through ATM lane.  Instead of pulling out onto the street, I decided to bang a U-turn by pulling into the drive through teller lane… in the WRONG DIRECTION.  Somehow I really, honestly, truly thought that my car would be able to finagle through that teller lane, turn around, and pull smoothly into the drive up lane.

I know this comes as a shocker, but I thought wrong.

After a few seconds that I cannot remember, I had somehow managed to wedge my car into the weirdest perpendicular diagonal… and I was stuck.  Picture that scene in Austin Powers where he keeps trying to drive forward and backward and just can’t.  That was me.  The Camry’s tire had somehow wedged over the hump of the next lane, so if I backed up any further I would have shot the tire.  If I pulled forward any further, the side mirror would have knocked off and who knows what other damage could have happened.

This is where I normally need a paper and pen to draw a diagram because usually people need a visual clarification at this point in the story.  Here you go.

I forgot to mention that it was a Friday night.  So everyone and their mom was trying to get to the ATM before heading out to the bars.  All my fellow college students were trying to get through that drive up ATM and couldn’t because I was just flat-out stuck.  They had to pull in, park, and actually get out of their cars (the horror), staring at me in disbelief the entire time.

At this point I was in sheer panic, and crying, so the smart decision was OBVIOUSLY to call Bridget.  Because clearly she would have the solution!  She did; however, tell me that Gabby, Mel, and Alicia had arrived to go out to dinner.  So she sent them to retrieve me.  (Thanks, Bridge!)  My friends got there and just started dying laughing, because how can you not?  I was panicking, Alicia was weighing options, Gabby wanted to try to all lift the car ourselves, and of course Mel was being Mom and took my Triple A card and called Triple A.  Yes, the Triple A man had to come.  He also laughed in my face and told me in ALL the years he had worked for Triple A, he had NEVER seen anything like me.  Awesome.  He definitely went home with a story for the wife and kids that night.

Now for the escape.  I had to sit in the driver’s seat of the car while Triple A man propped my car up so it was at a raised diagonal (front side raised).  At this point I felt like I was a bazillion feet in the air, but SOMEHOW Triple A man helped me turn my wheel about sixteen times and then BOOM, I dropped right back to the ground.  He had straightened out the wheel, and allowed me to pull forward, without so much as a scratch to the car.

Only I would get myself in this situation.  Needless to say, I never made it to dinner (sorry PCDC ladies).  But I DID make it to UConn in one piece to party with the Cowboys and Indians.  And had a great story to tell when I got there.  Of course I’ve never lived this story down, EVER.  But it’s a great go to.

Finishing note:  It took me two years to ever go through a drive up ATM ever again.

I would ask if anyone else has ever gotten stuck in a drive through ATM, but somehow I think I’m the only one?!