It's Okay to Care About the Number on the Scale (The Power of “And”)

In today’s “wellness” world, caring about your weight can feel…weird. With all the focus on body positivity, there’s this unspoken guilt if you still have goals tied to the scale. But I want to reassure you: it’s okay to care about the number on the scale—just don’t let it define you.

The power of “and” means you can care about your weight and know it doesn’t dictate your worth. You can have fat-loss goals and not let them consume you. You can appreciate your body and still want to make changes.

Here’s how embracing this “and” mindset can bring a healthier, balanced approach to weight, wellness, and fitness.

Caring About Weight Is Different from Letting It Control You

It’s possible to care about your weight and how your clothes fit, without feeling like you’re shallow and succumbing to diet culture. The key? Caring without obsessing.

What helps most is to remember that weight alone doesn’t define health (don’t get me started on our healthcare system’s fixation with “BMI”...). The scale is only one tool, and it doesn’t know your fitness level, lifestyle, body composition, or lab work. Try to look at the number on the scale neutrally (I know, I know…stay with me…). Think of it like tracking your bank account balance. You monitor it to make adjustments as needed, but realize fluctuations will happen and the “downs” (despite feeling extra personal at times) don’t determine your entire financial health or self-worth. In the same way, the number on the scale is data, and it’s only part of the picture. 

Of course, staying neutral isn’t easy when the number on the scale is tangled up in so many other things. For example, studies show that up to 30% of women report feeling judged by healthcare providers based on weight alone. Add in family expectations, mainstream media messaging, potential history of disordered eating, or nagging memories of your 20s weight, and it’s no wonder so many of us attach our self-worth to a number.

If you get frustrated the next time you weigh yourself, try repeating these mantras out loud (yes, it might feel strange, but words shape thoughts, and thoughts shape reality—so humor me and give it a try):

• “It’s just data. My heart, health and happiness matter more.”

• “I’m more than a number—I’m here for progress, not perfection.”

• “The scale doesn’t define my strength. My body supports me every day, and I’m grateful for all that it does.”

So, the next time you hop on the scale, try viewing it like any other data point—useful but not all-defining. Numbers matter, but context matters more. Make a list of other health wins you’ve made lately - clothes fitting better, endurance improving, upping your weights, etc. When you feel strong and energized, the numbers on the scale lose their power to impact your day. 

Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality

The body positivity movement has helped many people reject narrow beauty standards and embrace self-love. Originally created to make marginalized bodies feel seen and valued, it encourages people to appreciate their bodies at any size, shape, or ability. For a lot of women, this message is life-changing.

But for others, “loving every inch” doesn’t feel realistic or honest. Many women I work with feel guilty for not loving their bodies right now, especially those who want to set a good example for their kids. But here’s the truth: feeling uncomfortable in your own skin doesn’t make you a bad person; it just makes you human. 

Forcing positivity rarely works and can even set you back. That’s where body neutrality comes in. With body neutrality, you can respect and care for your body and not have to love every part of it every day. Being honest about where you stand with your body right now is the first step toward making changes that bring you closer to feeling genuinely good in your skin—no guilt required.

I Coach Fat Loss AND…

I’ve had to personally grapple with the complexity of coaching fat loss, and sometimes wonder if I should focus on it so much with my clients. I’ve realized, like with everything else, nuance is important. Yes, I coach fat loss, and I believe in it as a valid goal— IF it’s based on what YOU want and WHY you want it, not because of pressure from others (although I get that sometimes this can be very blurry). Here’s where I stand:

- I coach fat loss AND I believe your worth isn’t tied to your body size.

- I coach fat loss AND I believe bodies of all shapes can be fit.

- I coach fat loss AND I believe movement should build you up, not shrink you down.

- I coach fat loss AND I believe weight is the least interesting thing about my strong, beautiful clients.

- I coach fat loss AND I believe my clients should spend less time in dieting phases and more time in maintenance or muscle building phases.

- I coach fat loss AND I believe your wellness journey is about so much more than numbers.

Most of all, I coach fat loss because I believe in body autonomy. Many women want to lose weight and will pursue it one way or another. I’m here to help them do it safely and sustainably—without extreme restrictions or miserable diets. Without proper guidance, people may turn to harmful measures like ultra-low calories, over-exercising, or risky supplements. My goal is to teach responsible, effective strategies that support real, lasting results without the burnout.

So remember, it doesn’t have to be either-or; it can be both-and. This perspective shift is powerful in many areas of life (“my kids are my joy and drive me absolutely insane……”). 

Caring about how you look isn’t a crime. It’s only a problem if it starts to consume you—there’s a difference, and it’s possible to honor that boundary. Taking care of your body is about respect, not restriction.

Where’s your relationship with weight these days? If you’re caught between wanting change but wanting to avoid the diet-culture trap, know this: it’s okay to honor your body AND work toward something different.

Looking for more guidance on this topic? If you’re ready to work on your fat-loss goals in a way that prioritizes strength, sanity, and balance, let’s connect—I’m here to help.)